Motor Home Massacre

Motor Home Massacre (2005): Well, we’ve had all types of massacres from Hollywood in the past but this time we have a new location for murderous mayhem. However, after viewing this travesty, it should have been called, ‘Next to the Motor Home Massacre’, or ‘In the General Vicinity of the Motor Home Massacre’ or ‘Camp Ground Massacre’ because no one actually buys the farm while in the motor home. In fact that was probably the safest place to be in this flick. Even the girl who is accidentally dragged behind the motor home for a few miles survives, although she wasn’t real good at walking, talking or chewing gum for a while.
This is a pretty typical ‘dead teen’ movie with several couples sneaking off in one of their parent’s motor homes for a lustful camping weekend of tent erections and home rocking. As it turns out, there is a seriously whacked out serial killer operating in the area and they all meet up in camp. It soon becomes obvious who the killer is (hint: The wacko always answers the cell phone even though it never rings.) and is eventually stopped by the surviving teens. This movie was stuck in somewhat of a rut in the murder department because almost all the killings involved being hacked to death by a machete. It was disappointing not to see power tools in use which would have saved a lot of time and perhaps blessedly shortened the movie. This one is only for fans of the fine art of machete carving. The movie is rated R for: gratuitous breastulations, massive machete mayhem, multiple machete murders, dumbed down doomed teens, and for the courageous cop who attacks the killer with his wooden leg.