Hostel

Hostel (2006): Be sure to bring an air sickness bag with you when you sit down to watch this super gory but very exciting horror film. This flick puts a whole new meaning to the term hostel and I think I’m going for the Marriot next time I travel. It is the story of every youth’s dream (male that is), to be loose in Europe surrounded by hotly women in Amsterdam. However, they are traveling with a person from Iceland not named Bjork and run into a shady eastern Euro-trash character who says they should go to Slovakia where the girls love Americans and a certain hostel is really hot.

Keeping the plot fairly straight forward, after tasting just about everything legal, marginally legal, and probably downright illegal in Amsterdam, the three lads train it to the aforementioned hostel. Sure enough, they have to share a room with some lovely ladies, share the sauna and hot tub facilities, date their new roommates at the local disco and have hot sex. Things just couldn’t get any better and you’d be absolutely correct if this wasn’t a horror movie. First, the guy from Iceland gets iced and we learn that all is not what it seems in the quaint village. Things get really gory and the Americans have a terrible time losing body parts and bodily liquids while visiting the really hostile part of town. As expected, cast mortality is egregious and only a few survive, but the movie should keep you on the edge of your seat (much of the cast is tied to one) once the plot unfolds. The movie isn’t for everyone because of the extreme graphic violence but those who can keep a meal down on a sloop in a storm can probably weather this one. The movie is rated R for: rampant hostility, rampant flying fingers, rampant flying toes, rampant flying unidentifiable grue, rampant gouged eyes, rampant chainsaws, excessive bulletry, excessive blood flows, excessive hookery, massive breastulations, massive bumulations, normal sex, abnormal sex, really abnormal sex, and for the unsportsmanlike use of scissors, hammers, electric drills, and other assorted normally useful tools.