Frankenfish

Frankenfish (2004): First there was Frankenstein, and then Bride of Frankenstein followed by many Generic Relatives of Frankenstein, and even a Frankenhooker. We now at last come to the cold blooded branch of the Franken family. The titular fish has no apparent connection to the Steins or Frankens, so the producers probably thought a Franken in the title was a sure way to cash in on a famous name. However, this direct to video schlockfest was better than expected. This flick will get a blood red rating on the gore meter and there is sufficient gratuitous breastulations for this flick to firmly wedge itself into the B-movie arena of honor. This is one mean fishey that will chase you all the way home.

The basic story goes something like this: a New Orleans medical examiner is sent south to the bayou country to investigate an unusual death. One look at the body of the mysterious dead man and you know something strange is going on. The M. E. takes along a shapely scientist to help and runs into an assortment of weird people in the bayous who all live in houseboats. Along the way, instead of finding an alligator, they find a halfigator which should have given them a clue that perhaps they needed a bigger boat. Once in the bayous, this group of fish chum includes a black voodoo queen type who makes great gumbo, her winsome daughter, a macho and well armed Hispanic relative of the recently deceased, a nudist Cajun toker and his blonde wife along with a few other short lived Cajuns. There is also one comic relief character, a whining white guy who almost makes it through to the end. After a few encounters with Mr. Fish, everyone realizes they now have their hands full. When the toker’s head gets bitten off during a fishy airborne attack, things really start to go downhill. At long last a hunter and crew come to the rescue until they turn out to be not so nice guys. Not to worry, they all get eaten too. In the end the hero and heroine survive but the carnage level is high and there were signs of a possible sequel so we can probably look forward to ‘Generic Relative of Frankenfish’ sometime soon. The movie is rated R for: appalling cast mortality, gratuitous breastulations, rampant red bayou water, fish out of water, fish in the shower, fish in the living room, fish hitting the fan, catapulted Cajun, decapitated Cajun, stoned Cajun, stone dead Cajun, naked Cajun, premature victory celebration, exploding propane tank, houseboat sinkage and for the cute little fishies that gobble up the last remaining non-essential cast member.