Neon Maniacs

Neon Maniacs (1986): Run, do not walk out of any video store with this dog on its shelves. Forty five minutes into this mess, I was sure my cabeza was going to do a Krakatoa on me. What we have here is a badly executed zombie story. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why these guys hang around under the Golden Gate Bridge, especially when they dissolve in water! Any smart thinking zombie of this type would have moved to the Mohave Desert years ago. And what’s this Neon Maniac deal? They had no lights of any sort. Ok, I’ll give you the maniac claim but that’s it. There’s no apparent reason for them to exist, they aren’t dead Spaniards, or Indians, or martyred priests or any of the standard excuses for dead maniacs. One of them is even armed with an M-16 rifle and dressed in a military outfit, one fires a crossbow, one has a noose, and one of these guys has only some short pants and stumbles around a lot. Jeeze, what a rotten excuse they are for zombies. This may have been the worst movie I’ve seen of late. Maybe that’s too harsh, I’ve seen some doozies, but it didn’t miss by much. The movie is rate R for: clueless illogic, stumblebum zombies, multiple gore, dimwitted police, and for the lack of any sense at all in explaining anything that happens in the movie.