Arachnia

Arachnia (2003): This movie is sort of homage to 50’s horror flicks. Shot near Rutland, Vt. by people who actually live there, the movie can easily be classified as a 3rd rate horror story. However if you put your tongue firmly in your cheek and try not to look at the plot holes too closely, this could be a rentable film for genre fans. It has a cast containing two dim bulb bimbettes from a local college who must be getting passing grades using talents other than pure brainpower. There is also the studly pilot, a sleazy professor, the professor’s female kick ass Afro-American personal assistant and a comic relief graduate student only slightly higher in brain wattage than the gals. The story goes something like this: Flying to an archaeological dig in Arizona, our troupe of antipasto crash when a meteor causes an explosion that knocks them out of the air. Fortunately for the plot, they land near an old farmhouse and find shelter. Unfortunately, it is also close to an underground nest of giant spiders that have been set loose by the meteoric explosion. They run into the semi-loony owner of the farmhouse, stay the night and then cast depopulation begins in earnest. The special effects are pretty corny and use some stop action effects right out of the 50’s but everyone screams well and acts marginally. As in most 50’s films of this type, the Army comes to the rescue in the nick of time and saves the day……..probably. There were signs there might be a sequel so be careful out there. The movie is rated R for: gratuitous nude bathing in an unheaated house, graduate student torn in half, really stupid girls, poor door alignment, bullet proof spiders, and for the terrible state of higher education as suggested by this film.