Satanic

Satanic (2006): This one starts out with a car crash and the surviving amnesia suffering ingénue faces a long hospital stay while her face is reconstructed. She has lots of nightmares and is finally released to a halfway house because she apparently tried to kill her father earlier. Well, the halfway house is populated with problematic young people and less than sterling supervising adults who like to watch porn on the living room TV and to steal as much from the kids as possible! Now before you get any idea that this might have some similarity to a Dickens tale, forget about it. Soon our ingénue’s dreams are getting worse and she begins to think she might have killed a girl she had picked up just before the crash. She also finds a book of sorcery and an Ouija board among her things. Well, it doesn’t make a lot of sense but people start dying and Jeffery Coombs is called in for a wasted cameo as a police detective whose main purpose appears to be just to make the movie run longer. Finally, there is a twist to the end of the movie that apparently an unfortunate accident happened at the hospital and tries to explain the ingénue’s origins. In addition, demons are involved. The big finale occurs when the lead ingénue returns to the home for wayward bad actors and finds everyone dead. What does she do, why take a shower of course. This adds the required amount of ingénudity missing up to this point. Then she is confronted by her evil self or non-self depending on your viewpoint. A classic kung-fu catfight causes casualties among the ingénues ensuring the end of the movie. Who won…..who cares? The movie conjured an R for: ingenudity, multiple orbulations, necking, neck slashing, multiple knifing, Ouija boarding without a license, and for the surprising kung-fu knowledge that the two opponents suddenly had in the finale.