Demonic

Demonic (2005): These days, it seems movies are getting hard pressed to come up with new horrors to explore and expose. This one is about a bunch of wacked out, homicidal wood nymphs that puts a whole new meaning to the term nymphomaniac. Apparently, in the English woods, there are a bunch of naked women running around with bad teeth. I’ve heard socialized dentistry is a bit slow to repair dental problems but these gals have a real terminal overbite and a taste for flesh to boot. Their purpose in life seems to be to walk up to you, give you a good gander at their charms, then a sloppy kiss or two and then bite you into multiple pieces for easy consumption. Knowing this at the start of the movie, one is not surprised when a bunch of English youths head out for a little camping in those very same woods. They run over a woman who is wandering in a daze on the country road. She was the woman apparently surrounded by the nymphs in the opening scene and somehow miraculously escaped to appear briefly in a second scene. Now if these naked gals are so deadly, how did she last in the woods for so long? Naturally, the van won’t start and the rest of the nymph-o-food must spend the night in the woods. They find a mailbox and assume a farmhouse must be nearby. Two go off in search of the house and the rest stay with the van and are soon nymph-o-snacks. The guy and gal find the farmhouse inhabited by a Midwestern farmer (played by horror master Tom Savini). Don’t ask how this American guy wound up on a farm in (Midwestern?) England. This type of movie’s logic threads usually unravel quickly. The farmer has seen the beauties and lived but has clearly gone bonkers and is now catching people to use as bait so they don’t come after him. After several attempts to feed the youthful pair to the hungry ladies, they get away and off old Tom. They get caught again and surrounded, and well, let’s just say, one survives, more or less. One other thing, these gals were all pretty thin looking, not an ounce of extra fat, and they sure ate a lot during the movie, so how come they stayed so thin, a big plot logic hole if you ask me. There are just too many other holes in this one to give it a positive rating. The movie is rated R for: a whole herd of nekkid women wondering the woodlands, stretching entrails, stretching credulity, van apparently rented from ‘Little Miss Sunshine’, excessive wandering, and especially for the last surviving male who falls into a hole filled with a half dozen hungry naked wood nymphs.