Slither

Slither (2006): Based on the title of this flick and the fact that everyone talked with a mid-western accent, I expected to see something like ‘Snakes on the Plains” but whoa there, was I ever wrong. Not only did the movie not take place on the plains (it was supposed to be North Carolina), there were no snakes either. What we have here is an alien invasion flick in the tradition of the old 80’s over the top horror flicks complete with disgusting monsters and maximum high end carnage.

If the truth be told, the movie is truly a love story but with an off the wall take on love and fidelity. It seems that Grant and Starla Grant (that makes him Grant Grant) are married (she poor, he rich). While being rejected from a bit of the old marital bliss one night, Grant goes to a bar where he is picked up by a floozy who knew him in school. They go out in the woods and in a standard B movie plot, camel dancing would soon ensue. But wait, this is not your average B movie, and even though he is drunk as a skunk, ole Grant turns the young lady down for love of Starla, even though the floozy is throwing herself at him like a Nolan Ryan fastball. Well, gol-durn if a meteor doesn’t land nearby and shoots ole Grant with a dart that causes him to start craving raw meat and other unsavory things. He starts changing as the alien presence within him grows stronger and he eventually impregnates the floozy in a rather disgusting alien way but is also able to keep Starla happy in the normal way. The poor floozy becomes the largest pregnant lady ever seen on the screen, filling it completely along with the barn she is kept in. But darn, if she doesn’t explode and send slug like creatures all over who crawl into the townspeople’s throats and soon they become stumbling zombies, part of the singular alien presence. The really downside of all this is that when you are zombified, you lose all appreciation for good food, not caring if your steak is served raw, medium, well done, or festering. In fact festering seems to be the preparation of choice.

The local sheriff (Nathan Fillion) and his staff are trying to figure out how to save the world but are having a hard time keeping on top of things. In fact, the sheriff is almost killed by an alien controlled deer! Gregg Henry steals most of his scenes as the foul mouthed mayor who goes completely ape-spit, when he finds out there is no Mr. Pibb in the back of the police car while they are escaping from the alien zombies. In the end, the world is saved by the true love shared between Starla and Grant, or at least what’s left of Grant. You’ve probably heard of ‘Romancing the Stone’; well give Starla a lot of credit for romancing the slug, and saving the world.

This is a well done B horror movie that takes fairly standard material and makes it into a very entertaining tale. With a perfect mix of comedy and horror, this is one to catch if spotted in the rental aisles. All this without a single bosom or bum in view too.
The movie is rated R for: uncountable disgusting slugs, ugly squid like Grant Grant, exploding pregnancies, exploding heads, multiple zombies chanting “STARLA” in unison, slugs in the woods, slugs in the car, slugs in the tub, and especially for the slugs in the mouth, yuck.