Baby Juice Express

Baby Juice Express (2002): I don’t think this British comedy made it to these shores in great numbers but if you don’t mind thick English accents and a lot of obscure English slang, this might be a movie to rent. It concerns a number of somewhat dim crooks making somewhat dim plans that go somewhat awry. The plot is a bit outlandish and there is a kidnapping of sorts where thousands of hostages are taken. The only intelligent characters that seem to be able to count to 10 and get it right are the women in the cast, the guys are all hopeless. It seems that two dimbulbs wind up owing a semi-important semi-legal large muscular fellow a bit of quid and they come up with a plan on which the movie’s title is based to obtain funding for the payback. It seems a hardened but aging criminal in the slammer needs to sire an heir or all his ill gotten gains revert to the state if he passes on. He regularly smuggles a bit of himself (I really don’t want to go into details here.) out to his wife to try and have a remote blessed event. Our geniuses decide to hijack the shipment and hold it for ransom to raise some funds, get out of debt and get back to a life of happy petty thievery. Along the way, there is much to guffaw at, particularly if you enjoy English humor. All kinds of unfortunate things happen, including spillage, difficult to obtain backup supplies, and a pretender to the throne sample. Things stay just complex enough to keep your interest and while not a great movie, it is a good B comedy. The movie is not rated but probably would get an R for: subject matter, boxing violence, toe stomping, bus carnage, sample vials, vile samples, vile grammar, multiple wanking, untimely spillage, hookers with a heart of lead and improper use of a water pistol.